Nighttime Comics Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

Late-night's leading hosts devoted their airtime mocking ex-President Donald Trump's recently announced immigration initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," portraying it as a clear pay-to-play system for the rich.

Colbert's Pointed Take

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic holiday jingle directed at the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... ruins all he handles."

The subject was the new initiative which allows foreign citizens to buy U.S. residence for an investment of $1 million dollars, or "premium" version for 5 million. A government page promises approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief message for you to rich foreigners: before you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He explained that the card is also designed to "get cash" from firms looking to hire foreign workers, requiring hefty payments. "That is a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a property of your selection – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"The best background check the government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these individuals completely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"Here's a card that will permit affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your choice."

"It might be time to revise that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the brevity of the application, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Grocery Struggles

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining poll ratings amid economic anxiety. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term since they were angry about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a attempt to address prices, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of food items, and behaved strangely to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by criticizing conservative news arguments of Trump's financial record. "Maybe rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he remarked.